Aunt Marjorie’s Funeral, Sept 2023

Thursday, September 7, I got a phone call from cousin Stuart’s wife Marci in Detroit saying that Stuart’s mom, my Aunt Marjorie, (age 89) who had been declining for months, was near death and the end was expected soon, perhaps even that day. That did not happen, but Saturday evening, we got a message that she had passed. Jewish tradition is that you should bury a loved one as soon as possible, so her son Stuart would have liked to bury her on Sunday, but with the time change, the soonest we could get to Detroit was Sunday. Given that, Stuart was willing to wait until Monday, and I started trying to arrange flights. Fares were over $1000, so I called Delta to see if we could get a bereavement discount. I was told that it would be a half hour wait to speak to an agent. While I was waiting, I looked at the available flights and talked to my Marc, Mom and Don. We decided that the four of us would all go, and we chose the 12:50 non-stop flight which arrives at 8pm.

After close to two hours, I still had not talked to an agent. The screen changed to show that there were only 4 seats left, and I panicked a little – there were not a lot of other choices! So, I went ahead and booked the tickets. It took a little while to enter all the information for four people. I clicked the final “purchase” button, and while the screen was swirling, before it even had time to tell me the tickets were purchased, the agent came on the line. I explained the situation, and she went off to talk to her supervisor. She came back and told me that she could not just apply the bereavement fare to the tickets I had purchased. She could reverse my purchase and then rebook the seats under the bereavement fare, but I would risk losing the seats to someone who swooped in while she was booking them. Did I want to do that?

Since the likelihood was high that she would rebook the tickets before someone swooped in and stole them, and the bereavement fare was going to save us close to $500, I told her to go ahead. Then she said that I wasn’t actually eligible for bereavement fare, because it was only for immediate family. I replied, “That’s not what your website says! It explicitly says that bereavement fare applies to aunts.” She went off again and came back and confirmed that I was, in fact, correct. She then booked our tickets. She applied the bereavement fare to all four tickets. I think that, technically, Marc is not eligible for the fare, but she gave it to all the tickets, and I wasn’t about to point that out.

I made reservations for hotel rooms and car rental and by that time it was 10pm at night. I packed and went to bed. In the morning, we drove to Mom’s and went to the airport with Mom and Don. We parked at the Parking Spot and took the shuttle to the terminal. We hit a ton of traffic at the entrance to the airport, which turned out to be because they had completely closed the upper level. The shuttle driver said that it had been open for his last circuit! He dropped us off at the lower level and we took the elevator up. As we were entering the terminal, they opened up the upper level, and we never found out what had caused them to close it.

Fortunately, we had allowed a ton of extra time, and security was a breeze. Stuart called as we were going through security, and we learned that the cemetery, which has been used by our Detroit family for forever, was sold a couple of years ago to a Christian organization, and (being that it was Sunday) they were not answering their phones. Stuart was able to arrange the service with the funeral home, but had not yet been able to make arrangements for the burial. So we didn’t know for sure that the service was going to be on Monday.

We arrived at the gate almost two hours before our flight was supposed to leave. Don got us into the Delta Sky club, and we enjoyed their accommodations and food. The flight was uneventful – a tad bumpy, but not that big a deal. I watched a couple of movies and knit. We landed, took the shuttle to the Budget rental car place, and found a line that was out the door and around the side of the building. I counted 75 people in the line. It took two hours to get our car. Yikes! We signed up for the Fuel Purchase Option package that allows us to return the car without fueling it, because we were told that the gas would be $.50/gallon cheaper if they filled it up.

As we were driving to our hotel, Marc noticed that they had not given us a full gas tank. In fact, halfway to our hotel the “low fuel” light came on. I took a picture of the gauge with my cell. I looked at the receipt we had been given and noticed that they had not marked either the amount of fuel or the mileage on the receipt. Fortunately, we had enough fuel to make it to our hotel. We checked in at the Hyatt Royal Oak and caught some dinner at Carneys Diner, which was a couple of blocks away. The rooms were very nice. Breakfast was mediocre (especially after Dubai, although that’s not a fair comparison!) but adequate.

In the morning, I called the rental car place and complained about being given a car with no gas in it. They said to tell them when I returned the car and they would take care of it at that point. Marc went and put a couple of gallons of gas in the car.

Stuart called and we learned that he had been able to make burial arrangements and the funeral would be at 1pm. He asked if any of us wanted to say something. I had written a poem about Aunt Marjorie and how it used to rain when she visited us and I asked if I could read it.

Lately, I’ve been using Bard (Google's AI chat service) to generate filler newsletter articles for a newsletter for which I am the editor. I asked Bard to generate a rhyming poem about how Aunt Marjorie brought the rain. I was very amused by Bard’s poem, which wasn’t bad, but absolutely did not rhyme at all. Then, I was revising the poem, and I wanted a rhyme for “us”, so I asked Google for help. I was very humored that not only did the website I found give me rhymes, it also gave me a short poem “using words that rhyme with us.” Except that the poem was, “there was a mouse/who lived in a house” – and mouse and house do NOT rhyme with “us”! But now the internet is gaslighting me and I can’t find that website.

The service was well done. Stuart gave the eulogy and did a very nice job. I read my poem. We then drove to the cemetery and buried Aunt Marjorie. Uncle Milt came to both the service and the gravesite. In the orthodox fashion, we filled in the grave entirely. I like that tradition. After gravesite was over, Mom, Don, Marc, cousins Sandy and Gary, and I visited Aunt Renee’s grave and Uncle Don’s grave. We then went back to Stuart’s house to sit shiva.

Cousin David and his son Ben came to the house too, and we asked about David’s wife Susan, whose cancer had returned recently. We learned that the situation is not good. On the bright side, Stuart’s daughter Kayla was there with husband and kids (daughter and 7 month old baby boy) and we hadn’t met the baby before – he is very cute!

We stayed until 10pm and returned to the hotel. In the morning, we returned the rental car, and told them about being given a car with no gas in it. The agent said she would remove the Fuel Purchase Option from our contract. The flight home was uneventful, and we arrived home around 5.

Well, the agent *said* she removed the Fuel Purchase Option from our contract, but we got billed $67.25. Which was interesting not only because we should have been billed nothing, but also because the car has a 14.3 gallon tank, which means that if that tank was bone dry (which it wasn’t) we were charged $4.70/gallon in a city where the average price of gas was $3.70/gallon. So much for $.50/gallon cheaper!

Both Budget Rental Car and Delta Airlines sent me feedback surveys. So I took the opportunity to vent about the long wait and the fuel charge to Budget, and the long wait on hold to Delta.

The next day, I called the rental car place to complain. As long as I was complaining, I complained about the two-hour wait to get the car as well. The agent apologized for that and offered to rebate us a day’s rental. This surprised me mightily. I was not expecting anything, and even if I thought they would give us something, I would have expected a discount on a future rental. And I would never have expected a day’s credit on a two-day rental! But I didn’t turn it down. He asked if I had taken a picture of the fuel gauge, which I had, and he sent me an email that I replied to and attached the picture. So I expect to get that refunded too. With that response to our situation, I just might use Budget again!

The entire trip was a whirlwind of travel and emotions. It made me think about the future and the day when I will be in Stuart’s shoes. I hope that day is a long time coming.

My poem:

I remember

In times long gone

Visiting Detroit

Mom, Dad, brother Don

And sometimes

They would come here

Aunt Marjorie, Uncle Milt

Usually the end of the year

I remember

Sometimes, when they came

The weather would be good

But usually it would rain

And I know

Their visit didn’t change the weather

For the worse

(or for the better)

But still I wonder

What’s it all about

When their visits stopped

California was in a drought

Now Aunt Marjorie is gone

She won’t come to us again

And so I want to know

Who now, will bring the rain?

Bard’s poem:

Sure, here is a rhyming poem about Aunt Marjorie visiting and bringing the rain:

Aunt Marjorie came to visit,

The sun was shining bright.

But when she stepped out of the car,

The clouds began to gather.

The birds stopped singing, the flowers closed,

And the wind began to blow.

And then, it started to rain,

Just as Aunt Marjorie said it would.

We all ran inside, laughing,

As the rain came down in sheets.

And we knew that Aunt Marjorie

Would always bring the rain.

She was a magical woman,

With a special touch.

And she always knew how to make

The weather do her bidding.

So next time you're feeling down,

And the sun is hiding behind the clouds,

Just remember Aunt Marjorie,

And the rain she always brought.